It’s up to you to have a good relationship with your dog

Yesterday, I spent the afternoon helping the Keizer Parks foundation raise money for their new dog park. Next weekend, I’m raising money for Project Pooch. People show up and spend $5-10 to talk with their pet for 5-10 minutes, and all proceeds go to the nonprofit.

I like events like this because it allows me to talk with many dogs for a very short amount of time, and enact a little bit of positive change in a lot of lives.

So, yesterday was mostly good.  Lots of lovely dogs, mostly of the terrier variety. I saw one of my favorite dogs, Gabby, who requested more time down by the river to hang with the ducks.


And then my heart broke a little.

A young woman walked up with a dog whose name we will change to protect the innocent. Let’s call her Sukie. She was a sweet dog. She looked like a mix between Cairn terrier and a scottie.

“My mom wants to know why her dog is so vindictive and annoying.”

Sweet Jesus.

Really? REALLY?

It’s like somebody asking, “Why is my toddler such an asshole?”

So, I talked with this dog, whose attitude was slightly cool and quiet.

“I’m not vindictive,” she said. “I just don’t see why I have to give in all the time. It’s not like she actually cares about me.”

Lucky Relationships

Those of us who have dogs and who have relationships with our dogs, where we actually see them as friends, we’re the lucky ones.  Our dogs are lucky. We’re lucky.  Not everybody knows how to do that.  They see people with great dogs and they just assume that the people got a great dog, and here they are, stuck with this dog that acts like a jerk.

That’s not how it is at all. This little terrier is a perfectly acceptable, decent and friendly dog.  Her owner just didn’t know how to have a relationship with her.  That’s sad for everybody involved.

It would be so easy for me to see this as a character flaw on the part of the owner. But really, it’s just somebody who doesn’t know how to have a relationship. That’s somebody who needs help, not judgment (as much as I like to judge people. I am human, after all).

Fixing This Problem

I recommended a book to Sukie’s owner. It’s called “Bones Would Rain from the Sky: Deepening our Relationship with Dogs” .  Suzanne Clothier writes beautifully about how to have a positive relationship with your dog.

If your relationship comes naturally, if you have an easy, awesome wonderful appreciation for your dog, you are lucky. Your dog is lucky.  I am lucky to know you.

If yours doesn’t, you’re in luck, because Suzanne lays it out beautifully in this book. For $10, you can learn how.

And if you need more than that, consider a session with me.  I can help you understand your dog.

Remember, it’s up to you to have that good relationship. What can you do today to deepen it?

This entry was posted in Animal Communication Consultations, Dogs. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to It’s up to you to have a good relationship with your dog

  1. melissa k says:

    I don’t think some people get it…… pets are not entertainment items for humans. This is their “life” to live and hopefully enjoy. Last night at a bday dinner for a friend we where talking about pets and how they are “little disasters” waiting to happen. i. e. When they die before us just how hard it is to lose them. That is an invested pet parent, the pet is part of the family not an entertainment item that is suppose to fix our life. I’m not judging this lady but maybe her issue (unhappiness) has nothing to do with the dog. Maybe she see people enjoy their dogs n she thought this would just happen by having one with no work on her end. All relationships take work…..

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I have the Bones Would Rain .. book and loved it. Another good one is “The Other End of the Leash” by Patricia McConnell.

    Relationships do take lots of work. It’s easy to forget that when you don’t see the actual work that goes into another relationship and just see the “end result”.

  3. Max says:

    It might help if people considered “What is my dog here to teach me or help me work through?” Some dogs are so very easy to live with and just naturally draw the best from us. Others are here to challenge us and help us grow, which takes some major faith on their behalf..

    If your dog is acting like an asshole, you might want to stop in your tracks and check what he might be mirroring from you. Personally I have always found the dog has a point and is behaving a certain way for a reason. Its not always easy but every dog we have is not by mistake.

    One of mine has some major lessons for me lol

  4. Barbara says:

    It was lovely to meet you today. Oscar and Mandy are happy and napping. We made a fresh rope toy for Oscar – his favorite. He’s sleeping with it. ;o) I realized as we were making it that we melt the ends of the rope a bit to keep them from fraying on the grill – where we make the chicken! That’s probably what he was talking about when we were trying to ask him what he likes to chew.

    I will try to find the oil for Mandy. Please remind me of the name? Thanks!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *