I am now going to rant about people who make bad choices…and are possibly addicted to rescuing.

A few days ago, I received this email.

Hello Bridget,

I have been seeking a communicator for my two dogs. I am hoping that you will or you know someone who can help me.

I have two female dogs who are sisters rescued from ____________. 

One has been diagnosed with kidney failure and the other is now peeing 6-8x a day on her bed.

It is over $200 for the tests to see if she also has kidney failure. They may both be put to sleep within a week. Though I can’t afford that either. I have spent over $2000 on the two of them in 2 months and am in danger of losing my house.

Would you be willing to talk to them and find out if they truly are in pain and need the daily medication? Are they feeling so bad they want it to be over? Etc

Their lives are on the line. I can’t even believe I’m considering having them put to sleep but the costs are enormous. If they don’t want to continue living as they are, etc.

I would appreciate any advice or help you can provide.

I don’t know this person. And I’m not 100% sure of this person’s circumstances. There is probably more to her story. So, to be fair, while this email is typical of the emails I get from the people I am about to rant about, I don’t know that she fits this category.

I do know that she has just hit up a stranger for pro bono work because she has a situation that she can’t afford.

If you are $2000 away from losing your  home, you have no business rescuing a dog (unless, like the homeless man I met last year, you are willing to put the treatment and well-being of your dogs over your need for shelter).

$2000 is, sadly, a drop in the bucket. In my household, I have a dog with $8,000 knees. I spend over $1200 a year just on pet food. And another $2-3k a year on vet visits and pet meds.

You certainly have no business rescuing two dogs from far away when you yourself live on the West Coast of the United States.  Even if a rescue paid to have them shipped to you, you took their resources with the promise that you would be able to take care of these dogs. And now you’re flustered because these dogs have medical conditions.

People who rescue beyond their resources, they frustrate the hell out of me, because most of them know better, and their reasons for rescuing have very little to do with the well-being of who they rescued.  They have to do with their addiction to the Rescue High.

Again, I don’t know if this person who wrote this email is addicted to rescuing. I know she’s hurting. I know she could have made better choices.

I am so utterly tired of the wing and a prayer approach to life.

It will work out is not a plan.

You want to help dogs but are lacking cash flow?

Foster a dog.

Or put pictures of adoptable dogs up on twitter or facebook.

Or volunteer at a shelter.

Maybe you have an elderly neighbor who has a dog that needs a walk.

There is so much you can do.

You want to help horses but don’t have the funds to keep one? 

Work towards legislation to keep wild horses free.

Raise money for horse rescues.

Clean out a barn or two.

There is so much you can do to make a difference that doesn’t require you to spend a cent.

Maybe it doesn’t give the same emotional high as pulling a little dumpling of a dog out of the euthanization line.

In the long run, you will save more animals.

And you will cause less heartache for yourself.

You will put yourself in a position where you can afford to rescue dogs yourself.

The world cannot afford to pay for your drama addiction. 

Notice your own bad choices. And stop doing them.

Stop shrugging your shoulders and wondering about the bad run of luck you’ve had.  Notice when that bad run of luck is you NOT listening to your intuition and instead making really short-sighted decisions.

Please Get This:

I am not talking to those souls who are really down on their luck or who are oppressed by a society that favors some more than others.

I’m not talking to fast food workers or grocery store workers or those who get up at six in the morning to collect cans.

Nor am I talking to those who have to work several jobs or who are looking for work and are discouraged.

Or those who rescued an animal when they had money and then experienced a spectacular economic free-fall.

I am talking to the rest of you that know better and continue to make short-sighted choices because quote you just can’t help yourselves unquote.  The ones who push down your voice of reason in favor of the rescue high.

I’m talking to those who are addicted to drama.

The people and animals who are really suffering- they suffer more because of your bad choices.  You prolong their suffering because you are being needy.

The energy workers you hit up- they can’t help other more deserving people if they are helping you out of a bad choice that you made.

I know that at the root of this, you’re someone who is trying to turn your own dark energy to light.

You’re someone who is troubled, who is lacking, who wants to feel something. I get that.

And a huge part of me comes forward and says Go with God. I hope things get better. 

And another part of me says Stop it already. Stop using your power to make things worse for yourself and those innocents that you pepper your life with.

Especially if you look behind you and see lots of moments where someone bailed you out because you made a bad choice.

And Please Stop Thinking Of Energy Workers as Good Fairies.

We are  not.

We are real people.

We have mortgages.

We have a limited amount of energy to give. The vast majority of us help more than we should for people who really need it.  As I write this, I am fostering a puppy who likes to pretend he’s a bed shark and bite the toe tourists at night.

 

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2 Responses to I am now going to rant about people who make bad choices…and are possibly addicted to rescuing.

  1. Marianne says:

    You are so clear – and so generous (I know this, because I’ve been the very grateful recipient of your generosity in a moment when I needed it very much and it made a very big difference). Thank you for your clarity, and for having clear enough boundaries to know the difference between healthy service and rescue drama (some of us are familiar with it in other spaces) and for having the courage to call it. x

  2. Sooz says:

    Oy…..I get it. I see it. I rescue from it. I am THAT energy worker too.

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