Fernie takes a wrong turn…

Posted on November 17, 2010 by admin

I received a long worried email on Friday night.

From Cristen-

My cat Fernie has been gone 11 days now.

Fernie lived in a barn before she lived with us. Every now and again she will disappear for 24-48 hours, but then come home and rest and cuddle and love on us. Over the past couple months she has disappeared for longer periods. Prior to this 11 day disappearance, the longest she was gone was 4 days.

She had surgery about 2 1/2 months ago and had to have all but two teeth removed due to an infection in her mouth. I could tell she was feeling much better and just 5 days after her surgery I saw her run out of the neighbor’s yard with a mouse!

Because I was worried that perhaps she was injured or trapped, I had a K-9 search and rescue team come out. The dog lead the handler to a nearby bus stop. He then told me someone took my kitty on purpose and went off on the bus with her. I put flyers up all over. The ones near the bus stop were torn down two days in a row. Of course this upset me. I began to think “the thief” was doing this. Then, on Wednesday, I thought I saw her down the street! I called her name, the cat looked at me then ran up a driveway and disappeared. I looked all over all the adjacent yards for an hour, and even recuited some of the neighbors to help.

That evening I was feeling pretty good. Perhaps she was weaving her way home? Maybe it really was her. Sure looked like her, but tabbies are common. Later that same evening I got a phone call.

As soon as my phone rang, I got the chills. I just knew it was weird. A man asked me if I knew who he was. I replied that I didn’t. He asked again and I said “No, what can I do for you?”

Then he asked if I was missing a cat. I said that yes I was. Then he said “I have her.” I thanked him for calling and expressed my delight (albeit hesitantly) then he said he was making pop corn. “Oh. Ok. Um, did she wander into your yard?” I asked. Then he laughed, said “Nope” and hung up.

I feel my intuition is all mixed up and failing me right now. I can’t decide how to focus my energy and I find myself going back and forth from hope to despair. I keep getting a vision of her laying on some type of cushion or chair, feet all tucked in, but I don’t know what it means. Maybe I will never know, but sue said you are for real and might be able to help.

Did I see Fernie or another cat? Is she safe? Does some crazy guy have her hostage? If she is nearby, why won’t she come home to us?

Thank you for your consideration,

Cristen Lincoln

Where’s Fernie?

As you can imagine, I wasn’t sure I wanted to tune it. Was Fernie with some crazy guy? Had she been taken on a bus? Where was she? How could a cat with just two teeth survive eleven days?

I tuned into Fernie. She was ready to come home, but she wasn’t even upset or scared. A little annoyed. Fernie was under a bush by a small white detached one-car garage. She wanted me to tell Cristen that she was getting enough to eat, that someone was putting out food for another cat. For just a second, I saw a flash of a kind, red-haired woman.

I asked, “Did you go somewhere by bus?”
Fernie said, “What?”
I showed her a bus, and people getting on and off of one. I didn’t get a yes or a no, just a confused feeling.

I tried again, “Are you far from home or close to home? Do you know how close?”

She said that she thought she was close to home, but that she had gone a different way than she usually did. She showed me her spooking and then running across a street. She wasn’t sure how to get back.

I emailed Cristen. She emailed back and said she felt relieved and that she knew her little family would come back together.

On Saturday, she emailed me again:

Bridget! You were right! Our block faces 54th on the east, and 53rd on the west. Fernie is hanging out on the block that faces 53rd to the east, and 52nd to the west. She is eating cat food set out by some nice people on 53nd, who are trying to befriend a skinny stray and give him a home. They saw my flyer and called me.

One of the women has red hair! And, there is a little white garage behind their house that is her escape route.

Twice they have called me when she was on the porch eating. Both times she ran away from me. The first time she meowed and meowed at me. She hardly ever talks, so constant meowing isn’t her MO. I followed her and she hopped a chain-link fence. I stuck my hand through and eventually she sniffed me, and then gave me a bit of love. When I went around the house to get to her side of the fence, she ran away from me again.

If she happens to come to you, can you please tell her that I am safe for her? I am going over there again in the morning when she comes to eat. She is so close to home!

Thank you so much!

I emailed back, suggesting a hava-hart trap.

On Tuesday, another email…

Good morning Bridget. I wanted to let you know that Fernie is home safe with us. We had to build a trap to fit into a crawl area where we found she was sleeping. It worked! She has been home for just over an hour and already giving us much love. Not sure what happened to her out there.

Awesome. Welcome home Fernie!

Posted in Animal Readings, Cats | Leave a comment

Cheyenne

Posted on October 26, 2010 by admin

A few weeks ago, at the Tired Dog Ranch, I met Cheyenne. My friend, Laura, had adopted Cheyenne, and had been told that Cheyenne was a “perfect pack horse”.

There was one tiny little problem. Cheyenne was not safe to be lead anywhere.  Laura said she felt like she was flying a 900-lb. kite.  She didn’t feel safe around Cheyenne because Cheyenne was flighty and not paying attention.

When Laura rode her, though, she behaved pretty well, especially if she had her buddy, Lydia nearby.

Laura is an animal communication student of mine. She’s wise and kind and makes beautiful jewelry out of bicycle tires and bottle caps. She also works as a massage therapist, and this is where she often hears from her animals.

She was at her massage table one day, when she heard Cheyenne say, “I’m Valentine.”  Valentine was a Welsh pony she had as a child. Laura was shocked! She had only had Valentine for a short time.

I took a look at Cheyenne’s energetic body, her chakra system. To me, chakras look like little rooms, or boxes, one stacked on the next.  Cheyenne was missing her two lower chakras and it looked like the chakras from her belly to her forehead had been hit by lightning! They were charred and broken. This poor horse wasn’t grounded, and wasn’t spiritually well.

I worked with Cheyenne to help her feel more grounded. She told me that when Laura or Lydia touched her, she felt better, grounded, but otherwise she felt anxious and weird. We did some energy work on Cheyenne, helping her dormant 1st and 2nd chakra come alive, and helping her other chakras heal. She was very accepting of the treatment, and seemed quietly excited about her new life.

She told me that she was really happy to find Laura again. She liked riding with Laura and she wanted to do other stuff too. She mentioned learning tricks, something a pony might learn, but not so much a mustang.

A few days ago, Laura emailed me. Cheyenne is better on the lead. She’s making good choices in the pasture.  and here’s more from Laura:

Since you were here last week, when I go see her I really get myself grounded and she puts her forehead against my chest.  It has been absolutely beautiful!  Amy Jo (the barn owner) today said that she is starting to see little changes in her for the good.  I think that girl is going to come around!  Thanks again Bridget!!! ~Laura

I want to write more about animals and their energetic bodies this week. We each have one, and there’s lots we can do to support the animals in our lives who are struggling.

Posted in Animal Readings, Horses | Leave a comment

Animals Talk to us in 9 different ways

Posted on October 13, 2010 by admin

Yep. 9.
Talking with animals is a multi-media experience.

Coco

Here’s the 9 ways you could get information from your animal friend:

1. Seeing pictures or little movie clips in your head.
2. Feeling their emotions
3. Feeling a physical sensation like pain or discomfort (I often feel cold around Olive, because that little doggie needs to put on a sweater).
4. Hearing words
5. Smelling a smell (like a horse client who complained about how bad the manure pile by her stall smelled and then thought she’d share the smell with me. Pee-yew!)
6. Tasting a taste (I know what mouse tastes like and it’s not good)
7. Knowing- (sometimes you just have the complete story, even though you didn’t get the words.)
8. Embodiment- (A pet might show you their day through their eyes. It looks and feels like like you’re the pet. Whiskers and tails feel interesting).
9. Mapping- You can see where a pet is in relation to their house and to other points of interest. They’re sending you a little map of where they are.

Embodiment and mapping are rare occurrences. Most people get hearing and pictures first.

Try This:

Get a picture in your head of something your pet enjoys that you’d like to share with him or her. Think of your pet to get their attention and then imagine the picture. Perhaps you might imagine your dog at the dog park, for example, running and playing. Did your dog just run for the door? Yeah. You just talked to somebody.

Cool, huh?

Yep. Talking with our pets is something that we all can do. You can too. My Intuitive animal communication class starts Oct. 19th. I hope you’ll join us!

Posted in Animal Readings, Cats, Dogs, Wild Animals | Leave a comment

Starry

Posted on October 12, 2010 by admin

When I walked out to the pasture on Friday night, I could see Scamp hiding, in the treeline. She quietly observed me. Something within us clicked.

Who’s that? I asked.

Oh, that’s Scamp, Amy Jo said.

Sometimes horses have a deep, timeless wisdom about them. I sensed that in Scamp.

Scamp is covered in sores, all along her belly, Amy Jo said. We think she’s severely allergic to flies.

The next morning, I wanted to help. After my encounter with the therapy asses, I met up with my human friends and we talked about the horses in the field.

It sounded like Scamp wasn’t really fitting in. She was on the edge of the herd. She didn’t fit her name. She wasn’t a Scamp. She was awkward, quiet and shy.

I met Scamp in the middle of the field, and slipped a rope halter on her. Sometimes that rope can be a quiet energetic connection between a horse and me.

I said, You just walk where you want, and we’ll talk, okay?

I felt my heart hurt. I felt a deep sadness well up within me. And I felt itchy. Scamp bit at her sides.

I ran my hand along her belly and felt the scabs underneath. They were hot and scratchy.

I asked, What’s happening here? and I saw, in my mind, each cell burst in anger. It was the feeling of unexpressed anger bursting through her skin.

I’m not a vet, but I could tell that this horse’s skin affliction was energetic and emotional in nature.

Are you angry? I asked.

It’s not useful. She said. My anger is not useful. It doesn’t change a thing and I don’t know what to do with it.

I thought of all the times I had said the same thing.

Scamp’s Mother and Father

Scamp is a mustang. She’d been brought in from a herd in Eastern Oregon. She was captured when she was just 2-3 months old.

She showed me her mother and her father. Her father had been the lead stallion, and he had been angry that his herd was attacked and separated.

Her mother, Stormy, was captured too, and Scamp and Stormy were separated. This happened 8 years ago. She had never got over it. She kept showing me pictures of her father so angry and helpless to stop this terrible situation.


It wasn’t useful, she said. Why have this terrible feeling if we can’t change things?

I scratched her belly softly. I stood there without answers.

I don’t know what happened to my mother, she said.

I bet we could find out. I said. I asked Amy Jo and she said that although the paperwork didn’t say anything, she’d check it out.

Her name was Stormy, she said. She showed me a picture of a big horse, warm and friendly. She was mostly white, with a little grey on her flanks.

Moon Ray

We had a long conversation about the purpose of life. About suffering. About existential angst. Scamp was tired of everything. The alpha horse, Cornelius, had called her ugly. She didn’t feel ugly, but she didn’t want to talk to anybody except a young mustang named Moon Ray.

Moon Ray

Amy Jo said, Could you please thank her for being kind to Moon Ray? He only came out of his shell when she was kind to him.

I thanked her for her kindness, and she said, It’s nothing. It’s a drop in a bucket. Don’t put pressure on me. I am not anybody’s savior.

She showed me her former owner, whom she really loved, but who was mentally ill. She felt overwhelmed by her owner’s emotions. She never felt like enough. She felt angry that she couldn’t resolve the problem. She felt conflicted that she felt angry. She didn’t want to be a useless, angry horse.

The God of Horses

We talked for a long time about the never-ending nature of suffering on this planet. There is always a need. It feels like we’re pushing a rock up a big hill. It’s hard to see the people and animals we love suffer.

It was a deep, lovely, difficult conversation. I didn’t have many answers, so I just honored her by listening.

I decided that we should do some functional energy work to help Scamp transcend these deep, sad thoughts.

She felt disconnected, ungrounded. So I showed her how to connect with the ground beneath her. I asked about her relationship to the divine. I asked her about God.

The God of Horses? She asked.

I was surprised that she said it like that. I thought about how I, personally, imagine God in a way that feels knowable to me.

Yes. I said. Have you connected with the God of Horses?

She showed me a picture of a big beautiful horse.

She got quiet for a moment, hard to reach. She was in communion. I put my hand on her belly and asked God to heal her.

She felt better. I could feel her sadness lighten.

I said, You don’t have to do anything. But when you are feeling better, you’ll notice that even the little things you do have meaning. You don’t have to help a soul, if that’s too much pressure. But, at some point, I think you’ll find that you’re ready to help again. You don’t have to be overwhelmed by need. There will always be some need, but your little efforts do make a difference.

She sighed. Some of her sadness had turned to peace. It felt like hope was seeping in around the edges.

Starry

I said, Can I ask a question? Can I ask about your name? You don’t seem like a Scamp.

It’s Starry. She said. My name is Starry Night.

She turned and showed me her coat, and sure enough, she’s covered in stars. I found out later that she had told our friend Laura that her name was Starry Night. It was nice to confirm it.

Later, the horses started chasing each other around the pasture. And Starry joined in. She turned and ran and played for a moment.

Amy Jo said, We haven’t seen her do that.

Starry ran around the pasture just as Piggy Jim was playing with his hula hoop. I thought, What kind of world is this where there are deep feelers like Starry as well as pigs with hula hoops?

Who gets to choose the experiences we have?

I have hope in my heart for Starry and for all of us.

Posted in Animal Readings, Horses | 2 Comments

Believing that you can talk to animals is the biggest hurdle

Posted on October 11, 2010 by admin

Really.

Believing is the hardest part.  The actual talking? That’s easy.

We are neurologically programmed so that if we don’t believe we can do it, we can’t do it.

Last month, I tore a ligament in my knee. And it hurt.  And it felt weak and ridiculously unstable.   I went to see a physical therapist last week and she said, “It’s not so much that your knee doesn’t work, but that you don’t think it will.”

So I’m working on thinking that my knee will work, and lo and behold, it’s way more stable than it was.

It’s the same with animal communication

Odds are really good that you’re already communicating with your animals. A lot. All the time.
There were a bunch of my students at the Tired Dog Ranch this weekend, and one of the things I noticed was how all of them talk with their pets. They talk about how they talk with them, and what their pets said,and it was as easy and comfortable to them as talking to their spouses or their children or anybody else.

That can be your reality.

Why don’t we do it automatically?

There are a couple of good reasons why. First of all, animals think differently than we do. They are more present. They are more in-the-moment. Also, they don’t just think in words. They think in feelings, pictures, smells, tastes, words. Many ways. It’s a multi-media experience talking with a pet. If you’re not present and if you’re not expecting to see a picture from your pet, you may miss it.

Also, we just assume we can’t. So we don’t.

The Truth

You can talk with pets. You can do it. What we do in my class is more about uncovering our gifts than learning something new. You can do this. I promise.

Please join me on Oct. 19th, 2010

This is my last Intuitive Animal Communication course. I’d love it if you would believe in yourself and join us. .

Posted in Cats, Dogs, Horses | Leave a comment

The Therapy Asses

Posted on October 11, 2010 by admin

After my encounter with Piggy Jim, I sat under the awning and waited to see who would approach me. This pasture is often filled with horses recovering from the neglect of previous owners. I had come out to my friends’ pasture to do energetic healing, to heal others.

A few minutes of waiting, and I found myself surrounded by two miniature spotted donkeys.

Tallula, Pebbles and Bob

Hey, I said, What do you need from me?

No, Pebbles said, What do you need from us?

These two are the keepers of the pasture. The deep peace of a pasture embodied in two donkeys.

I need peace. I said.

You got it. Tallula said.

It’s always available to you. Pebbles said. Just go like this.

I felt her energy settle and become quiet. The little canvas awning became a sanctuary. I felt myself quiet down and become soft in their presence. My back relaxed. I was soft and smooth.

This peace is part of you, Pebbles said.  It is your nature.

I looked Pebbles in the eye.  Her gaze was soft and knowing.

You’re a good person, you know? She said.

I started to cry. I felt like somebody truly saw me, and knew what I needed to hear.

Thank you, I said.  I feel bad that animals suffer so much at the hands of humans. I am so sorry that it is this way. I feel sorry that I don’t do more myself.

Tallula looked at me. She sighed. It was a sigh of wisdom, contentment, knowing.

Do not draw a picture of black and white, good and evil. She said.  Instead think of a path towards resolution. We are all working towards resolving what’s out of balance. The people who are cruel, they are out of balance.  They will resolve towards balance. That’s the way it works.

Yes said Pebbles.

The donkeys stayed with me the rest of the morning, I’d talk with a horse, and bring in healing energy and then the mini-donkeys would step in and take my stress away.

At the end of the morning, I left the pasture with a profound sense of peace thanks to two little donkeys.

I told Amy Jo that she should start a website called therapyasses.com and put these two on it, and have them give out advice to the world. Our world needs more therapy asses.
P.S.- You can stay at the Tired Dog Ranch and hang out with the Therapy Asses yourself. Go here for more information.

Posted in Horses | 4 Comments

Stories from Tired Dog Ranch: Piggy Jim

Posted on October 10, 2010 by admin

I spent the weekend at the Tired Dog Ranch,  my friends’ B&B ranch in Oakridge, Oregon. There were five of us visiting so Saturday morning I slipped out of bed, grabbed some coffee and headed out to the pasture alone.

Pig in a blanket

Piggy Jim met me at the gate, his tail wagging.  I hadn’t met him before, but he was happy to see me. He wanted my coffee.  His snout perfectly fit my coffee cup.

I reached down to pet him and he snorted and backed up.

Do you mind? he snorted.

I’m sorry, I said.  What did I do?

You pet me like a dog. I am not a dog.

Sorry, sorry. I said. Would you like some more coffee?

Yes. He said. Yes I would.

One more snorty slurp of coffee.

I asked,  Hey, can you show me how you like to be pet?

Scratch me on my side, but lightly.

I gave a little scratch.  He had tight muscles running down his back.

I scratched him all over with a light touch, and then I switched to a strong rub.

Piggy Jim said, Oh yeah, that’s nice.

I said, Is there anything you want to tell me? Any advice or insight?

Piggy Jim said,  Naw. Rub my thighs.

I gave that little piggy a massage. I couldn’t help but think of those thighs as hams, which now means that I’m this much closer to becoming a vegetarian.

Piggy Jim drank a little more of my coffee. When the coffee was gone, he went on his way.

Later,  our friend Laura brought Piggy Jim a hula hoop, which he really liked. He picked it up. with his mouth and tossed it around like he had no idea how cute he was.

Pig in a Hula Hoop!

I love a pig that likes what he likes, and doesn’t worry about much more than that.

Posted in Animal Readings | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Kind words from Simrat

Posted on October 8, 2010 by admin

Simrat Khalsa took my class several years ago.

Here, she shares her experience:

I took Bridget’s in person weekend workshop. I was a bit skeptical, but went with an open mind. What I found was a very down to earth, practical woman who knew what she was doing.

I found that talking to animals and tuning into my intuition is a skill that can be practiced and learned, just like the meditation that I’ve been doing for years. It was like exercising muscles that I hadn’t used for that purpose in a while.

We learned techniques to use and even validated our results. And it was fun!

I got the greatest advice of all from her horse, Bert. He said, “More Love” when I asked him what I needed to be better at communicating.

I recommend working with Bridget. It is worth it.
- Simrat Khalsa

Simrat and Lily

Posted in Cats, Dogs, Horses | Leave a comment

Call for Submissions: The Pets are Talking Book

Posted on October 6, 2010 by admin

Hey!

After years of conversations with hundreds of pets, it’s time to write a book that honors those relationships.

There’s lots of books about intuitive animal communication. Let’s write a book about our relationships with our pets. I want to write a book about how listening to our intuition bridges the language divide, and brings us closer. Also, I think we can write about how our pets change us and make us better.

I know a few stories that I want to put in there. I want to write about Horseshoe and Bliss and Gyp and Jasper and Wally and Karmin and Binah.

Horseshoe and Casey

Your pet’s story might be a good one too. If your pet has been a client of mine, and you’d like to share your pets’ story, can you please send me an email? I’ll interview you about your experience and your relationship, and then I’ll write about it. I’d like to find a way to include writings from owners too, and also advice from the animals themselves. Animals so often have these great wisdoms that we can learn from.

If your pet hasn’t been a client of mine, but you’d like to be included, please understand that I’ll be pulling compelling stories from new clients too.

Also, there must be a charity component to this book, right? We’re going to give a percentage of sales to some awesome, yet-to-be-named rescue group. I’d love your recommendations on that too.

My plan is to gather materials now and then spend the month of January writing the book.

Thanks for your interest, opinions, enthusiasm and participation!

much love,
Bridget
bridget@petsaretalking.com

Posted in Cats, Dogs, Horses, Wild Animals | Leave a comment

The emotional, the empathic and the needy: separation anxiety

Posted on October 6, 2010 by admin

On Sunday, I visited my client, Fletcher.  Fletcher is a German Shepherd mix. He’s big and beautiful.

I sat down on the floor next to him, and scratched his belly, and at first he was all right with that. But then I felt his energy cut off and he left the room.

I had misread our social engagement.  I had committed a doggy faux pas.

I said, “Hey, sorry.”

He said, “You seem kind of needy. I know dogs are supposed to like that in people, but I’m not that kind of dog.”

I had been having an emotionally difficult day, but I thought I was doing a fine job keeping it to myself. I apologized again.

I pulled my energy way back. I sat in the room with his mom, while he sat in another room. I asked my questions formally, at a distance, and then he was quite comfortable talking with me.

I told his mom about how he had told me that I seemed needy. He mentioned that he very much appreciated that she let him have space.

She said, “I used to cry when he was a puppy because I’d want to love on him, and he’d grump about it and get up and move to the other room.”

Fletcher is a great dog. He loves his people, but if you need a dog for an emotional hit, he’s not the dog for you.

He reminded me of that Rilke quote about marriage being two people sitting together and looking outward.

Is your dog needy?

It’s rare that there are dogs like Fletcher. Most dogs are a little emotional. They’re empathic. They pick up on our energy and well, they just love us so much.

To be apart from us is a painful experience. Where do I stop? Where does my owner start? What is the boundary of me? a dog might ask. They go to work and I’m alone, and half of me feels gone.

This feeling of incompleteness leads to the behaviors of separation anxiety.

Behaviors like:

-Excessive vocalization- whining, howling, barking and carrying on.
- Going potty in the house (but being perfectly housebroken when you are home)
- Destroying your stuff, especially things that smell like you (shoes, clothes, etc.)
-Obsessive licking (licking to the point of a sore spot)
- Depression
- Exceedingly excited greeting upon your return, whether you are gone for 10 minutes or 10 days.
- Psychosomatic responses: panting, pacing, drooling, waiting by the window all day

My Experience

I have two dogs that suffer from separation anxiety. They manifest their symptoms in dramatically different ways.  If you didn’t know a lot about separation anxiety, you probably wouldn’t notice the more severe case in my home.

My big black dog, Benitio Del Perro will not eat if I’m not home.  If I leave him for a day, and return, I will have a shadow for the rest of the week.  I just came home from coffee with a friend, and this guy will not leave my side. 

Benny

However, he won’t cry and vocalize. He doesn’t carry on, and he never destroys things.  He’s very quiet and rather anxious.  I know that he’s suffering from it, but as an introverted dog, nobody else knows.

The reason why I bring this up is that I hope you don’t mistake an introverted dog for a happy dog. Some introverted dogs are happy. Some aren’t. Just because your dog isn’t causing you a problem doesn’t mean that there isn’t a problem.

Olive the wonder pitty also has separation anxiety.  She barks. She destroys plastic bottles that she steals from the recycling box. When I leave, I get the very anxious sad eyes. She also won’t eat if I’m not home.  Her case is pretty mild, but she leaves more noise and damage in her wake than Benny.

Where does separation anxiety come from?

Sometimes, it is genetic. Certain breeds are classic sufferers of separation anxiety. Weimaraners,  daschhunds, goldens, pugs and pitbulls are just a few that can have these anxious tendencies.

Having said that, any breed of dog can have un-confident tendencies.

Some of it is environmental.  Just like children, if you don’t set your dog up for confidence and success, they may not grow that way. Or perhaps you didn’t have the luxury of knowing your pet from puppyhood. Maybe somebody else had your pet first, and raised him or her in ways with which you don’t agree.

Sigh.

Benny’s separation anxiety is both genetic and environmental. He’s a deeply empathic shepherd/lab. He’s got a lot of feelings in him. He was also abandoned as a puppy, and spent a couple of months on the street. He was skin and bones when animal control picked him up.  He’s never quite let go the idea that we too might ditch him somewhere.

Olive’s are probably a combination of environment and genetics too.

Solving or Lessening Separation Anxiety

Ugh. It’s tough. However, there is a lot you can to resolve this problem.

1. Have an emotionally appropriate relationship with your dog.
Okay, I bring this up because there are people in the world who treat their dogs like their soul mates, like their bestest friends, like the loves of their lives, like their therapists. There are dogs who can handle this and dogs who can’t. If your dog exhibits signs of separation anxiety, you need to lighten their emotional load.
This does not mean putting on a fake happy face. Dogs are not stupid. This means getting the emotional help and connection somewhere away from your pet.
On Sunday, prior to my appointment with Fletcher, I was sitting on the floor in my living room, lighting the first fire of the season. I was a little bummed out, I must admit. Olive decided that she needed to fix this for me. So she licked my face. She tapped my repeatedly on the shoulder with her paw. She gave me big sad eyes. She wanted to be my therapist. Olive loves playing therapist.
Hey, I said. I’m okay. Can you just sit with me? I don’t need to burden you with my problem.
I went for a walk later and thought through my issue and felt better. I talked things over with my partner, who is the other adult in my home. I emotionally took care of myself.

All of us have moments when we are not happy. We need to watch out for the empathic dogs in our lives who want to soak up our pain. Some can handle it. Some are made for it. Therapy dogs, for example, do well. Some want to handle our pain, but can’t. Our boundaries cross. We get enmeshed. Please consider your relationship with your pets.

2. Teach them how to be confident
Take your dog to a positive trainer. Teach them ways to be in new situations. Socialize your dog.

3. No big deal their life.
When you leave and they carry on, say “Hey, you’re okay. This is no big deal.” Don’t buy into their hype with your emotions. If you act anxious and sad because they are anxious and sad, you simply are tossing a ball of anxiousness between the two of you. Your pet will think, “Oh my dog! They’re anxious too! I must have lots to be anxious about now!” The anxiety will lessen if you don’t freak out about it.
This is especially important with a new dog. If you act anxious, even a little when they leave, then they will pick up on it.
When you come home and they greet you excitedly say, “Hey I’m home, no big deal.” And pet them a little bit and then get on with your life. Do not turn your comings and goings into the last act of a long sad opera.
Over time, you will convince them that your comings and goings are not big deals.

4. Security Blanket + Job = Less Anxious Dog
Give them something that they take comfort in. Olive gets a toy that she likes. It comes out when I leave. It has become her security blanket. Some people turn the radio on to a soothing station.

Olive and her toy

Some people use a safe word. I wish people had come up with a better name for it than that. Basically, a safe word is a phrase that you say when you are leaving. Just say, “I’ll be back.” You can tell them when you’re coming back too.
Also, give them a job to do. Benny’s job is to keep the mice out (Shh…we don’t have mice…but it keeps him busy looking for them). Just think of a job that they could do while you are gone. Hold down the couch. Look out the windows. Something simple that they can accomplish. When you come home, thank them for a job well done.

Sometimes, a conversation can help too. That’s where I come in.

Dogs aren’t the only ones

Horses and pigs have separation anxiety too. Heck, I even know a cat that has it. And don’t get me started on people!

I hope this helps!

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